It’s Saturday morning, and it’s time for a bagel. Let’s check in with our friends at Google (you know who you are) and see what our options are so that we may too worship the christ king.
Hmm – it certainly appears that the good folks at Brueggers and Einstein have locked down the market for a fresh bagel in and around the three rivers. (Now before the libs (you can get a bagel at Starbucks) or the radical right (well Ken it’s only a bagel if it comes from Bagel, Poland) try to ruin this for me let me just say – grow up. This is a post, and frankly a blog, for reasonable people. A Saturday morning bagel need not be the finest bagel you’ve ever had (IYKYK), but it also doesn’t count if the vendor’s primary offerings are Big Macs or coffee. Hence, ~Brueggers et al are the market, and you won’t convince me otherwise.)
But duopolies are fine, right? As long as there are at least two entities competing we can be confident that the invisible hand will drop off our daily bread at fair prices. Unless, of course – those entities are owned by the same German conglomerate.
Now COS typically tries to stay out of politics but we refuse to be idle passengers on this long train of abuses and usurpations. If Pittsburgh can produce pizza that is substantially better than anything you would find in New “York”, the only thing stopping her from offering decent bagels is a monopolist. We are thus calling on our readers who are attorneys general, of which there are several, to investigate the JAB octopus.
While we’re at it, can we please dye the rivers blue like Chicago dyes its rivers green? Aerial shots from Steelers home games are shameful.
This is complete nonsense