This has been long overdue. My contribution has been lacking. To be frank my mind has been elsewhere. I’ve begun my career and while I do still live at home with Grad Assistant Sr., I am in the midst of turning a new leaf in my life. Early nights and long commutes are now the norm. Gone are the days of the 4 hour NCAA 14 dynasty rebuild binge. Where I would stress about content, I now stress about how my last cup of coffee will affect my sleep schedule ( a wise man once said “mankind’s greatest asset is its REM sleep”). So I have decided to give you, the reader, insight into my new daily routine and a look into what makes a great Staff Accountant.
5:30 AM: First alarm goes off. I awake and resist the urge to look at my phone. I read recently that looking at a screen half an hour before and after sleep gives the people’s elbow to your circadian rhythm so that is my self care tip for the day.
5:31 AM: Second alarm goes off. I cannot finish a thought ever before the second alarm goes off. It physically hurts but there is no chance I could sleep soundly at night with only one alarm set so I set five to six depending on my self confidence.
5:45: Conclude self reflection. This is my most productive period of the day as I cover all of the necessary conversations needed to start the day in probably 2 minutes and spend the remainder of the time thinking about things a young professional should, like if I use the word superfluous in the correct context or if I talk too much about the par 3 17th at Birdsfoot.
5:46 Breakfast time. The day begins with frosted mini wheats, a solid dose of fiber to keep me regular, and a cup of joe. Make my lunch and set the morning’s playlist for the shower.
7:20: I am out the door. I’m sparing the morning shower and skin care routine from this article as its not entertaining and would attract more attention than I’d like. I hop in The Tank ( a 2005 Chevy Equinox with just over 360,000 miles on it. I am convinced I’m driving in my own coffin but Grad Assistant Sr. ensures me bi-weekly that if it passed inspection it’s fit to be on the road so I drive on).
7:55 : In the office. Have my morning pep talk to remedy the imposter syndrome. Boot up the computer. Send emails. Begin calculating the day’s unaccounted sales and use tax. It’s an accrual world out there folks.
8:42 am: The first tweet notification from Pat Narduzzi appears on my phone and any progress on the job my company pays me to do stops abruptly. Que up the 5 minute day dream about the 2021 10-2 Pitt team.
8:47 am: Email snaps me out of the day dream. Someone is complaining that their expense check is short 30 dollars. Promptly explain to them that the company will not reimburse them for the 5 dirty martini’s they ordered at the Best Western Hotel Bar in Chambersburg, PA. Back to accruals.
9:30 am: Second Cup. Free K-cups. What am I not going to use em? French kiss a French Roast and have a day.
12:00 pm: Lunch Time. PB&J and nacho cheese doritos baby. One of my favorite combos. One hand on the eats and the other scrolling through pictures of the par 3 17th at Birdsfoot. A well needed reprieve from the absolute grind of sales and use tax.
12:15 to 1:00 pm: I want one of the readers to tell me when my lunch ends because I don’t know and the lack of structure drives me up a wall. Please be reasonable.
2:30 pm: I hit a wall. Now that I focus on my health I have replaced the third cup of coffee with listening to What a Fool Believes by The Doobie Brothers. Literally has the same effect.
4:00 pm: Quitting time. Windows down, music blasting, the bliss of departing work lasts momentarily as I stare down the trek to the Squirrel Hill tunnel. I need to know why the traffic is so bad. I thought people complaining about folks slowing down because they are driving through a tunnel was just shortsighted but that is what it is. It baffles me. Everyday.
6:30 pm: Supper. It’s spaghetti night. As it is every Monday without fail living with Grad Assistant Sr. A solid dose of spaghetti, a gross amount of garlic bread, and a glass of cab for the anti oxidants. Garlic bread makes the world spin.
7:15-8:45 pm: Clone Hero. It’s basically guitar hero. I’m so sick. If 4th grade me was able to see me now, I’m positive the pride would be immeasurable. Currently testing the recording capabilities of the laptop for vid content so stay tuned.
9:00 pm: All electronics off. Seriously. It’s time to take a look at your scrolling habits. Your circadian rhythm matters.
9:30 pm: I’m out. That’s it that’s all. Dreaming of that sweet sweet par 3 17th at Birdsfoot at sunset.