Just the Czech, Please: September 6 2021

We’re back, and oh boy does it feel good. Many thanks to The Grad Assistant JR for turning our summer of missed-content into glorious fall. It’s an exciting time at CoS; in addition to expanding the writing staff, we’re in the final phases of negotiations to acquire one of PGH’s fastest growing talk shows (if Noon on Saturday is with us, who can be against us?). As for me, I’ve been quite busy making calls and having meetings over the summer but am more committed than ever to growing this media empire. CoS is still yet to generate its first dollar of revenue, but I have a feeling it’s right around the corner.

In any case, y’all don’t want to hear me; you just wanna read. Please enjoy the latest batch of JTCP.

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1 To all the boys I love presently

Hey Ken, it’s kind of weird how much you and the fellas enjoy wrestling with each other:

Every time one of the fellas asks if she has friends:

Whenever the apps show one of the fellas or lady fellas an unsightly prospect:

2 Stop paying for postage

Here’s the situation. My understanding is that, if you mail a letter without a stamp, the US Postal Service will eventually take the letter back to the return address on the envelope. This begs the question: if you set out to mail a letter, and list the recipient address as the return address, and do not attach a stamp – do you ever need to pay to send a letter? Has everyone been doing this for years, and that’s why the USPS is even deeper in the red than CoS?

I’ve run this proposition past several folks, many of whom I respect, some of whom I even trust. The response is typically something along the lines of idk Ken, that’s dumb or idk Ken, that sounds like mail fraud, but no one has convinced me it wouldn’t work. I’d encourage our reader(s) to sound off in the comments below and let me know what I’m missing, but right now it sure seems like paying for postage is for suckers.

3 You’re a real one if this one resonates

4 Woof (the bad kind)

Not great. Now COS typically tries to stay out of politics, and that will continue to be the policy going forward. In this instance, I do want to acknowledge that there are folks who question the president’s mental state, and frankly those questions aren’t without merit. If you are politically predisposed to ask those questions, though, I’d just ask you to remember that this is your king.

5 Where do blogs come from?

6 For the avoidance of doubt

I’ve often been accused, by the haters and losers, of writing for an audience of one. This is simply untrue. However, the following will necessarily be appreciated only by a limited set of readers:

(if you’ve made it this far, the joke for #3 was “Orange Julius,” speaking of cryptic references)