Kaiser Ken raised some great points in his analysis of the finale of the Notre Dame football season. There is a cartel in College Football. The Playoff Committee pretty much gives the playoff spots to Clemson, Ohio State, Alabama and insert SEC school or Oklahoma. Its theirs to lose from the beginning. Now are those schools symbolically “in bed” with the playoff committee? I choose to say yes but I am finding it to hard to provide a solid burden of proof. However, as my search continues, I would like to offer up a solution of sorts or maybe just food for thought.
Imagine, you are a 5 star recruit with all colleges knocking on your door, having sleepovers in your childhood bedroom, and have your choice of program. You want to compete for a national championship. You want a sufficient spotlight that would be able to create NFL hype. There are 4-6 programs that will undoubtedly check all of those boxes. So you choose to attend Clemson, Ohio State, or whichever program that promises you the most. Where my argument resides is in the idea that expanding to the playoff to 8 teams might alleviate the current competitive crisis. Power 5 champs receive an auto bid, the best conference winner from the group of 5 receives a bid, and the rest lie in the playoff committee’s rankings. I envision this move allowing more conferences to draw talent they hadn’t before because they now have a chance to compete for a championship. The College Football Elite will you have believe that this is simply too large of a schedule for student athletes but keep in mind these are the same people who believe a free college education is enough for these athletes whose jersey sales, ticket generation, and television appearances are the reason their university opened up a brand new astronomy department equipped with the third most powerful telescope known to man and the deans, chancellors, and presidents were all able to pay off their beachfront properties 5 years early. That was a really long sentence and I’m positive it is not grammatically correct. I always got points off for doing that in my essays in high school. I think you really did not have to pay much any attention to how this season turned out to see how much college football is just one massive money maker not only for their respective schools but for the US economy as a whole. The decisions made by the conferences and the playoff committee exemplified that almost willfully. How about we all grow up, accept it, call it what is and expand the playoff so that this sport can return to its beautiful competitive nature. Oh and maybe compensate these guys a bit for their effort.
Per the terms of my employment and at the request of the head coach, I am required to generate a weekly report regarding the state of the program as a whole. This is my unedited and unqualified analysis of the University of Pittsburgh’s football program.
It’s been awhile. Too early to tell if it has been too long. I feel I need to weigh in on the recent success of the Pitt basketball team. While it cannot be understated that I am thrilled with how this team has battled against Syracuse and Duke in the past week or so, I feel I need to get something absolutely clear. Pitt is not a basketball school. I don’t know why people yearn to have this title anyways, I find it derogatory and a cop out. My loose definition of a basketball school is a power five program that sees its success in the winter on the court and is indifferent to the sport in the fall. Duke is a basketball school, Kansas is a basketball school, Kentucky is losing its basketball school status but historically could be called a basketball school. These schools have had consistent success in college basketball, we are talking multiple decades (realize that I wrote the plural of decade and not the singular form of the word decade) of competing for conference championships at the bare minimum and consistent presence in the national championship. Pitt has not had that. I wish they achieve it, do not get me wrong. If you look on the other hand the football has 9 national championships. That is way more than literally so many schools in the FBS its insane. They don’t just hand those shits out (they kinda did back in the day but whatever). While I will not be ignorant towards the more dominant program in the past 20 years, I need to make myself clear, you can enjoy the success of both programs without a label. I implore those who believe Pitt needs to embrace the basketball school title to remember where the University is located. Pittsburgh is a city that has such a unique dedication and devotion to the sport of football. Wake up idiots. Do I end this an article with a declaration that I do indeed very much care about the basketball and want only its success or will the people read this label me a Pitt basketball hater? I won’t, I know what’s coming my way, whatever.
I might start doing song of the week if its alright with President Ken. I don’t think many people read these and think less would agree with what I listen to but since the purpose of this is creative release, I don’t care. Been bumping JPEGMAFIA. I know people’s favorite songs are pretty fluid but I think 1539 N. Calvert might be one of the greatest productions in the 21st century. I have listened to it for 6 months straight almost every day and I still can’t wrap my head around it. Plus lyrics are relatable to my life so bonus.
There are three elite college football programs at the moment, and only a handful of teams (perhaps just LSU and Georgia) that can occasionally catch fire and put up a good fight against the triumvirate. That college football is so thoroughly dominated by this cartel probably is not healthy, but that goes beyond the scope of what COS is capable of solving. All we have to decide is what to do with the time given to us.
Will ND metamorphosize from Ryan Lewis to Macklemore under Brian Kelly? No. We’ve talked a lot about how it is not easy to get top tier talent to South Bend. It is, however, possible; it just requires a head coach who is a cultural fit for the university and also happens to be maniacal about recruiting. The white smoke will never announce Urban Meyer’s return to Indiana, but he’s obviously the archetypical guy who could do it. There’s a story from his time at OSU that sticks out in my mind about how he would facetime or text or snapchat or whatever with not just a top recruit but that recruit’s friends and girlfriend daily. While constantly messaging high schoolers is a little Spacey (American Beauty or real life, take your pick), it worked and it’s what it takes and you’ll never see Brian Kelly do it. He’s not that guy, doesn’t have that hustle, and that won’t change at this point in his career. It’s not happening, so quit asking.
So do we part ways with a coach whose ceiling is so clearly limited? No. It ain’t 1988 no more, and I know what’s behind that door. In my estimation, there are only two programs – USC and Texas – that are so devoid of any unattractive qualities that they should never accept 95th percentile outcomes. For everyone else, it’s a little trickier. Even Ohio State contends with its own geographic challenges (both midwestern weather patterns and dislocation from deposits of top talent), and Clemson lacks cache (it’s building it rapidly, though). Lest we forget, Alabama is in Alabama, and struggled mightily before Saban’s arrival. The point is – it’s really tough to win games in college football, because realistically there are 25 programs that have a bunch of really good things to offer, and then there are another 100 programs that can randomly get hot and make a run in any given year. That Notre Dame is probably the fifth best program in the country right now is a massive accomplishment. There aren’t many Dabos or Sabans out there, and they’re really tough to identify before they make it. Maybe the next guy will be Holtz or Meyer; more likely he will be Weis, and we will look back on these years, the playoff appearances, the ten win seasons, as the good old days, because things are really good. And good is good enough when you’re a small catholic school in northwestern Indiana that makes its players go to class.
Even if a Brian Kelly team will never consistently compete with the sport’s elite, will never give you confidence heading into a big game, there are steps that can be taken while he is at the helm to move the program closer to the Ohio-Georgia line.
Spend some money.
There are a bunch of legitimate reasons a top coaching target might spurn Notre Dame; compensation cannot be one of them. Losing then-DC Mike Elko to Texas A&M in 2018 was unacceptable and I will never forgive Jack Swarbrick for it. However, it’s 2021 and Swarbs came to fuck it up. Landing Marcus Freeman when a formidable LSU program had its sight set on him and was ready to aim is one of the finest moments of Swarbrick’s tenure. Maybe Freeman’s star will continue to shine, maybe it won’t, idk consistent success in CFB is hard, but when you need a defensive coordinator and the top DC on the market is from the Midwest and has six kids with his catholic wife you’d better make sure he finds a louis duffle at the end of the rainbow. Freeman secured the bag and for that, Swarbrick, I am grateful. Let’s keep investing in the staff (especially, as several beat writers have noted, private air travel for recruiting trips); I am a blogger not a financial professional so take this with a GOS but I suspect the ROI will be there.
Notre Dame does not need to put a water park inside its football center but lavish facilities are table stakes these days and the Irish simply do not have them. I’m so sick and tired of hearing stories of players studying on the floor of hallways in the Gug between meetings because there isn’t enough space in the building. It’s not right. No one will ever mistake Notre Dame for a football factory but there’s no excuse for not giving these kids the best given what they give us.
Light every candle in the grotto in hopes that Tyler Buchner is more TB12 than IB12. Not much to say here other than that a generational quarterback can take a borderline elite program a long way.
Adopt my secret plan to defeat Notre Dame’s recruiting shortcomings. Article still forthcoming.
It’s Weezy F Baby and the F is for Finasteride (and in some cases Fidelio).
We’re incredibly excited to endorse the good folks at Hims. Why listen to a credentialed physician yammer about a drug’s minor side effects when a stranger on the internet will write you a script no questions asked?
In the words of our friend Jeezy (who apparently has not been using his Vitamin R), when it comes to our hairlines I guess you could say it’s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCUS3yeND9c ?
Welcome to the mind of a battered Pitt fanatic. Despite my heralded expertise in CFB, there will be no filtration of bias regardless of where my words lie on the positivity spectrum. I have been long delinquent in my contributions but I cannot bite my figurative tongue any longer as a daunting terror is lurking towards us. Heed my words for you have been warned.
Optimism can turn the sharpest mind dull. Akin to COVID-19, optimism is the most infectious disease to plague the once proud fan base of our Golden Panthers. It is the precursor to expectation and the root of our annual despondence. It is the reason that I will unavoidably author a contradictory article in just 8 month’s time that I will then attempt to delete two weeks thereafter.
We are currently three weeks removed from an “interesting” bout in Atlanta. The game should have been an absolute drubbing but in typical Pitt fashion, we allowed an inferior team to stay in relative striking distance. Let’s be honest, if you weren’t expecting calamity in the fourth quarter then you haven’t watched Pitt football the past two decades. This game will be nothing but a blip in Duzz’s résumé moving forward but it should be noted for, is precisely what is coming this off-season. The game was 12-days after a slaughter in Death Valley. That must have been the magic number to erase embarrassment from the temporal lobe. So, Pitt wins a very unimpressive game against a bad team. Why am I harping on this meaningless game? Why? Because, what they did, was win in a different method. A method that has become antiquated in Whipple’s pass happy offense. They won by running the ball for 317(!) yards. That accounted for 24% of the team’s rushing yards for the season, in just one game. That’s great, right? Wrong. With no game to follow, declining a bowl bid, this should-have-been penultimate game has undoubtedly planted a seed of optimism that this outlier performance could become the standard.
And that’s where the trouble really begins.
I am a firm believer that consistency in the coaching ranks is vital for teams who don’t have competitive resources to be competitive on the field. To avoid a long tangent on my affinity of Dave Wannstedt, I’ll simply say that the force majeure between he and then A.D. Steve Peterson was entirely responsible for the decade long coaching carousel and grasp for mediocrity… All while fielding generational talents… But that’s a lesson for another time. I reference this because while I believe this lesson has been learned by Pitt’s Athletics’ operation manifested in Narduzzi’s rather cold-seat, I have concern that the old ball coach might force the hand by his own stubborn loyalty.
Lets rewind – June 2020, Pitt returns it’s best defense in decades paired with a second year OC and 4th year starting QB, poised to make a run at 5x consecutive ACC champion Clemson and thus, monumental strides in the hierarchy of college football. Look, I have a flair for the dramatics, bear with me. Pitt was supposed to build on what was a promising 2019. All the pieces were seemingly aligning. “If not now, then when”, was the theme of the fan base. But reality ensued. Pitt’s one-dimensional offense consistently flashed its rear end and with it, took all expectation and national perception on a nosedive.
So here we are, less than a month into the post 2020 off season following a 6-5 campaign. You’d typically be expecting unrest and frustration in most fan bases. I mean this performance of a 5th year Head Coach at a P5 school usually is the kiss of death. But rather than the typical dystopian outlook by our fan base at this time of the year, I am seeing a palpable amount of optimism floating about. Shortly after the win at the Georgia Polytechnic Institute, Kenny Pickett announced that he will grace Heinz field for what will make him a starting quarterback in, count ‘em, FIVE different seasons of College Football. Regardless of what you think of Kenny, his return as a veteran player is warmly welcomed as there was strong uncertainty as to who would be his heir. What should have been celebration in my mind was quickly clouded by the understanding that a fifth-year quarterback with real NFL ambition does not return to learn a new playbook from a new Offensive Coordinator. Weeks of rumors about Whipple’s impending termination had quickly become expectation (note – Motif). Trusted sources had staked their reputation on this lead all for it to dashed at Pat Narduzzi’s signing day press conference when he confirmed that Kenny will be trotting to his sidelined OC for one more year. There is an alarming amount of retention this year. Save LB coach Rob Harley’s departure to lead Ark St.’s defense, every assistant coach is still manning their post. As I said, consistency is valuable to Pitt’s coaching ranks, but retention should be earned – especially in the case of Mark Whipple. And this is where the root of my concern lies. The offense has certifiably ruined two years of statistically elite defense and not an iota of change is ensuing. Have no doubt about it, HCPN is binding the fate of his tenure to his loyalty In Mark Whipple. You can chalk it up to COVID related finance issues if you chose (OC Watson was fired for far less) but I believe this decision to put all his chips in with the success of Pickett/Whipple to be wildly misguided and will result in the 2021 season acting as his Swan Song. No, this is not my attempt at a pessimist’s allegory, it’s my cathartic interpretation of what almost certainly will follow.
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” – some smart guy.
—————————————
As is my reputation to Hedge– I will say that I am not ruling out the possibility departure of OL coach Dave Borbely and RB/Special Teams Coordinator Andre Powell. The reality is that the Borbs/Whipple marriage was misaligned from the start. Borbs is nuanced in a power rushing attack while Whipple’s bread and butter has been in the zone running attack out of the Gun. A switch in the OL scheme could prove beneficial to Whipple’s offensive philosophy.
Furthermore, the staff really has done a stand-up job in recruiting the past two years continuing it in the late signing period (Phil O’Brien Jr. – Auburn flip). Other key returners that were presumed departing (Strong-Side LB Phil Campbell most recently) and the late addition of a quality transfers Marcus Minor – OL starter from UMaryland and former local standout and 4-star Marlon (MJ) Devonshire Jr. from Kentucky, certainly provide some reason for optimism. Kudos to you, WR coach/recruiting guru Chris Beatty.
If you’re still reading in agreeance, then you are in fact the object that Einstein was referring to.
It’s Saturday morning, and it’s time for a bagel. Let’s check in with our friends at Google (you know who you are) and see what our options are so that we may too worship the christ king.
Hmm – it certainly appears that the good folks at Brueggers and Einstein have locked down the market for a fresh bagel in and around the three rivers. (Now before the libs (you can get a bagel at Starbucks) or the radical right (well Ken it’s only a bagel if it comes from Bagel, Poland) try to ruin this for me let me just say – grow up. This is a post, and frankly a blog, for reasonable people. A Saturday morning bagel need not be the finest bagel you’ve ever had (IYKYK), but it also doesn’t count if the vendor’s primary offerings are Big Macs or coffee. Hence, ~Brueggers et al are the market, and you won’t convince me otherwise.)
But duopolies are fine, right? As long as there are at least two entities competing we can be confident that the invisible hand will drop off our daily bread at fair prices. Unless, of course – those entities are owned by the same German conglomerate.
Now COS typically tries to stay out of politics but we refuse to be idle passengers on this long train of abuses and usurpations. If Pittsburgh can produce pizza that is substantially better than anything you would find in New “York”, the only thing stopping her from offering decent bagels is a monopolist. We are thus calling on our readers who are attorneys general, of which there are several, to investigate the JAB octopus.
While we’re at it, can we please dye the rivers blue like Chicago dyes its rivers green? Aerial shots from Steelers home games are shameful.
Per the terms of my employment and at the request of the head coach, I am required to generate a weekly report regarding the state of the program as a whole. This is my unedited and unqualified analysis of the University of Pittsburgh’s football program.
I’m coming in HOT this week. Despite my lack of confidence in this coaching staff, despite my belief that the offensive coordinator is incompetent and unaware, despite the product on the field in the last two seasons especially, I will be calling for at least 9 wins for the 2021-2022 Pitt Panthers. With Quarterback Kenny Pickett announcing his return and slot receiver DJ Turner also contemplating his return, the writing is on the wall folks, Pitt’s return to glory is now. With the free year of eligibility Pitt will see Long Snapper Callen Adomitis (that’s my running back), the best cornerback Pitt would have put on the field this year in Damarri Mathis, Taysir Mack, Lucas Krull, Keyshon Bamp (it is Camp but his twitter name is Bamp and I’m not at liberty to contradict the switch to the B) and Chase Pine(Johnny Petrishen is coming back but to me he is still a Penn Stater and will likely not see the field, super sad about that /s) return for Pitt. This does not include the young talent that shown on the field throughout the season and the incredible class that is coming in. I simply do not care that this is my third year in a row predicting a 9 win Pitt team. I do not care if it drives my credibility down because you know what soon enough I will be right and for everyone who likes to mope arahnd thinking Narduzzi will never win more than 7 or 8 games, you’ll be eating your words and you can no longer play the existential sadness because I root for Pitt charade. Time to grow up folks, realize the potential of this Pitt team and get excited. Plus with Fuente returning to Virginia Tech and a rivalry built with Geoff Collins and Duke returning to the schedule, that would be 3 conference wins right there not including the relatively easy out of conference schedule.
In other news, holidays are around the corner and COVID is still prevalent. Stay safe, reach out to friends and relatives and take Clemson plus the points on Saturday. That’s Clemson and the points, the tigers including the spread. Last thing, who has a worse record of nepotism, the Trump admin or the Notre Dame Football Program. Ron Powlus III? Really?
